BWAAHAHAHAAAHHHHHHH :( :'( :'((((((((((

I want to remember this moment forever. when it was still new. when there was still ONE MORE piece of harry potter left to be discovered.... before I knew it all and had read it all and seen it all, before I had cried every fresh tear, before I knew what was coming.
it's like it's all over already but it's not, not yet, still two more days, maybe three...
I just want to stay at home and watch the movies and read the books all day until it's here. I wish I had someone to do it with.
it really is the end of an era. a generation. thirteen years. my generation. the HP generation.

I WANT TO CELEBRATEEEE, I want to do something to commemorate...  :( I will figure it out. maybe I will spend all day drawing harry potter things or graffiti-ing lightning bolts or something good. I can do it by myself. We shall see. Now off to wal mart for supplies.

today, I realized that even if I never get married, even if I never find the right boy, as long as I still have my best friend by my side when we're 95, I'll be happy. :)

"Boring damned people. All over the earth. Propagating more boring damned people. What a horror show. The earth swarmed with them."
— Charles Bukowski

"For those who believe in God, most of the big questions are answered. But for those of us who can't readily accept the God formula, the big answers don't remain stone-written. We adjust to new conditions and discoveries. We are pliable. Love need not be a command nor faith a dictum. I am my own god. We are here to unlearn the teachings of the church, state, and our educational system. We are here to drink beer. We are here to kill war. We are here to laugh at the odds and live our lives so well that Death will tremble to take us."
— Charles Bukowski

seasick

when everything stops moving so fast your head spins
and you're not used to the motionlessness

nothing to say today. i've made like 10 bracelets since i've been here. now just to mail them out. i feel content doing that. productive. i suppose i could make some necklaces too.. i've been making earrings but they're not super great. haven't really gotten into the creative groove for that yet.

am reading midnight's children. i got all these lists of the western english speaking world's greatest books, and i'm going to try to count them off. classics and whatnot. i've read a few, mostly thanks to high school english class. but we shall see. they (obviously) don't read as fast as other books i've been reading.. also keeping a list of all the books i read this year. last year it was 83. since april this year it's been 5. it's funny, because it took me like a month to read shades of grey, and then i read the other 4 in the last couple of weeks.

next week i should go to the library. and the bookstore. pick up some more. I'm so antsy. impatient. to read and write more, and create. I love it. i've always felt this creative energy within and had urges to expel it, to use it, emote it, but have felt unable to... now I've just been doing it anyway. and it's okay. it works. it'll do. it'll get better :]

OKAY
I WILL SAY IT
I MISS JORDON

awkward,
i just changed where i live on fb, and it was kenai, alaska.
it's weird to have the place end in something besides washington

100 nonfiction

http://www.modernlibrary.com/top-100/100-best-nonfiction/

1. The Great Gatsbyby F. Scott Fitzgerald
2. The Catcher in the Ryeby J.D. Salinger
3. The Grapes of Wrathby John Steinbeck
4. To Kill a Mockingbirdby Harper Lee
5. The Color Purpleby Alice Walker
6. Ulyssesby James Joyce
7. Belovedby Toni Morrison
8. The Lord of the Fliesby William Golding
9. 1984by George Orwell
10. The Sound and the Furyby William Faulkner
11. Lolitaby Vladmir Nabokov
12. Of Mice and Menby John Steinbeck
13. Charlotte’s Webby E.B. White
14. A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Manby James Joyce
15. Catch-22by Joseph Heller
16. Brave New Worldby Aldous Huxley
17. Animal Farmby George Orwell
18. The Sun Also Risesby Ernest Hemingway
19. As I Lay Dyingby William Faulkner
20. A Farewell to Armsby Ernest Hemingway
21. Heart of Darknessby Joseph Conrad
22. Winnie-the-Poohby A.A. Milne
23. Their Eyes Were Watching Godby Zora Neale Hurston
24. Invisible Manby Ralph Ellison
25. Song of Solomonby Toni Morrison
26. Gone with the Windby Margaret Mitchell
27. Native Sonby Richard Wright
28. One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nestby Ken Kesey
29. Slaughterhouse-Fiveby Kurt Vonnegut
30. For Whom the Bell Tollsby Ernest Hemingway
31. On the Roadby Jack Kerouac
32. The Old Man and the Seaby Ernest Hemingway
33. The Call of the Wildby Jack London
34. To the Lighthouseby Virginia Woolf
35. Portrait of a Ladyby Henry James
36. Go Tell it on the Mountainby James Baldwin
37. The World According to Garpby John Irving
38. All the King’s Menby Robert Penn Warren
39. A Room with a Viewby E.M. Forster
40. The Lord of the Ringsby J.R.R. Tolkien
41. Schindler’s Listby Thomas Keneally
42. The Age of Innocenceby Edith Wharton
43. The Fountainheadby Ayn Rand
44. Finnegans Wakeby James Joyce
45. The Jungleby Upton Sinclair
46. Mrs. Dallowayby Virginia Woolf
47. The Wonderful Wizard of Ozby L. Frank Baum
48. Lady Chatterley’s Loverby D.H. Lawrence
49. A Clockwork Orangeby Anthony Burgess
50. The Awakeningby Kate Chopin
51. My Antoniaby Willa Cather
52. Howards Endby E.M. Forster
53. In Cold Bloodby Truman Capote
54. Franny and Zooeyby J.D. Salinger
55. The Satanic Versesby Salman Rushdie
56. Jazzby Toni Morrison
57. Sophie’s Choiceby William Styron
58. Absalom, Absalom!by William Faulkner
59. A Passage to Indiaby E.M. Forster
60. Ethan Fromeby Edith Wharton
61. A Good Man Is Hard to Findby Flannery O’Connor
62. Tender Is the Nightby F. Scott Fitzgerald
63. Orlandoby Virginia Woolf
64. Sons and Loversby D.H. Lawrence
65. Bonfire of the Vanitiesby Tom Wolfe
66. Cat’s Cradleby Kurt Vonnegut
67. A Separate Peaceby John Knowles
68. Light in Augustby William Faulkner
69. The Wings of the Doveby Henry James
70. Things Fall Apartby Chinua Achebe
71. Rebeccaby Daphne du Maurier
72. A Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxyby Douglas Adams
73. Naked Lunchby William S. Burroughs
74. Brideshead Revisitedby Evelyn Waugh
75. Women in Loveby D.H. Lawrence
76. Look Homeward, Angelby Thomas Wolfe
77. In Our Timeby Ernest Hemingway
78. The Autobiography of Alice B. Tokiasby Gertrude Stein
79. The Maltese Falconby Dashiell Hammett
80. The Naked and the Deadby Norman Mailer
81. Wide Sargasso Seaby Jean Rhys
82. White Noiseby Don DeLillo
83. O Pioneers!by Willa Cather
84. Tropic of Cancerby Henry Miller
85. The War of the Worldsby H.G. Wells
86. Lord Jimby Joseph Conrad
87. The Bostoniansby Henry James
88. An American Tragedyby Theodore Dreiser
89. Death Comes for the Archbishopby Willa Cather
90. The Wind in the Willowsby Kenneth Grahame
91. This Side of Paradiseby F. Scott Fitzgerald
92. Atlas Shruggedby Ayn Rand
93. The French Lieutenant’s Womanby John Fowles
94. Babbittby Sinclair Lewis
95. Kimby Rudyard Kipling
96. The Beautiful and the Damnedby F. Scott Fitzgerald
97. Rabbit, Runby John Updike
98. Where Angels Fear to Treadby E.M. Forster
99. Main Streetby Sinclair Lewis
100. Midnight’s Childrenby Salman Rushdie

i want to read all of the books in all of these posts.

1. ULYSSESby James Joyce
2. THE GREAT GATSBYby F. Scott Fitzgerald
3. A PORTRAIT OF THE ARTIST AS A YOUNG MANby James Joyce
4. LOLITAby Vladimir Nabokov
5. BRAVE NEW WORLDby Aldous Huxley
6. THE SOUND AND THE FURYby William Faulkner
7. CATCH-22by Joseph Heller
8. DARKNESS AT NOONby Arthur Koestler
9. SONS AND LOVERSby D.H. Lawrence
10. THE GRAPES OF WRATHby John Steinbeck
11. UNDER THE VOLCANOby Malcolm Lowry
12. THE WAY OF ALL FLESHby Samuel Butler
13. 1984by George Orwell
14. I, CLAUDIUSby Robert Graves
15. TO THE LIGHTHOUSEby Virginia Woolf
16. AN AMERICAN TRAGEDYby Theodore Dreiser
17. THE HEART IS A LONELY HUNTERby Carson McCullers
18. SLAUGHTERHOUSE-FIVEby Kurt Vonnegut
19. INVISIBLE MANby Ralph Ellison
20. NATIVE SONby Richard Wright
21. HENDERSON THE RAIN KINGby Saul Bellow
22. APPOINTMENT IN SAMARRAby John O’Hara
23. U.S.A.(trilogy)by John Dos Passos
24. WINESBURG, OHIOby Sherwood Anderson
25. A PASSAGE TO INDIAby E.M. Forster
26. THE WINGS OF THE DOVEby Henry James
27. THE AMBASSADORSby Henry James
28. TENDER IS THE NIGHTby F. Scott Fitzgerald
29. THE STUDS LONIGAN TRILOGYby James T. Farrell
30. THE GOOD SOLDIERby Ford Madox Ford
31. ANIMAL FARMby George Orwell
32. THE GOLDEN BOWLby Henry James
33. SISTER CARRIEby Theodore Dreiser
34. A HANDFUL OF DUSTby Evelyn Waugh
35. AS I LAY DYINGby William Faulkner
36. ALL THE KING’S MENby Robert Penn Warren
37. THE BRIDGE OF SAN LUIS REYby Thornton Wilder
38. HOWARDS ENDby E.M. Forster
39. GO TELL IT ON THE MOUNTAINby James Baldwin
40. THE HEART OF THE MATTERby Graham Greene
41. LORD OF THE FLIESby William Golding
42. DELIVERANCEby James Dickey
43. A DANCE TO THE MUSIC OF TIME (series)by Anthony Powell
44. POINT COUNTER POINTby Aldous Huxley
45. THE SUN ALSO RISESby Ernest Hemingway
46. THE SECRET AGENTby Joseph Conrad
47. NOSTROMOby Joseph Conrad
48. THE RAINBOWby D.H. Lawrence
49. WOMEN IN LOVEby D.H. Lawrence
50. TROPIC OF CANCERby Henry Miller
51. THE NAKED AND THE DEADby Norman Mailer
52. PORTNOY’S COMPLAINTby Philip Roth
53. PALE FIREby Vladimir Nabokov
54. LIGHT IN AUGUSTby William Faulkner
55. ON THE ROADby Jack Kerouac
56. THE MALTESE FALCONby Dashiell Hammett
57. PARADE’S ENDby Ford Madox Ford
58. THE AGE OF INNOCENCEby Edith Wharton
59. ZULEIKA DOBSONby Max Beerbohm
60. THE MOVIEGOERby Walker Percy
61. DEATH COMES FOR THE ARCHBISHOPby Willa Cather
62. FROM HERE TO ETERNITYby James Jones
63. THE WAPSHOT CHRONICLESby John Cheever
64. THE CATCHER IN THE RYEby J.D. Salinger
65. A CLOCKWORK ORANGEby Anthony Burgess
66. OF HUMAN BONDAGEby W. Somerset Maugham
67. HEART OF DARKNESSby Joseph Conrad
68. MAIN STREETby Sinclair Lewis
69. THE HOUSE OF MIRTHby Edith Wharton
70. THE ALEXANDRIA QUARTETby Lawrence Durell
71. A HIGH WIND IN JAMAICAby Richard Hughes
72. A HOUSE FOR MR BISWASby V.S. Naipaul
73. THE DAY OF THE LOCUSTby Nathanael West
74. A FAREWELL TO ARMSby Ernest Hemingway
75. SCOOPby Evelyn Waugh
76. THE PRIME OF MISS JEAN BRODIEby Muriel Spark
77. FINNEGANS WAKEby James Joyce
78. KIMby Rudyard Kipling
79. A ROOM WITH A VIEWby E.M. Forster
80. BRIDESHEAD REVISITEDby Evelyn Waugh
81. THE ADVENTURES OF AUGIE MARCHby Saul Bellow
82. ANGLE OF REPOSEby Wallace Stegner
83. A BEND IN THE RIVERby V.S. Naipaul
84. THE DEATH OF THE HEARTby Elizabeth Bowen
85. LORD JIMby Joseph Conrad
86. RAGTIMEby E.L. Doctorow
87. THE OLD WIVES’ TALEby Arnold Bennett
88. THE CALL OF THE WILDby Jack London
89. LOVINGby Henry Green
90. MIDNIGHT’S CHILDRENby Salman Rushdie
91. TOBACCO ROADby Erskine Caldwell
92. IRONWEEDby William Kennedy
93. THE MAGUSby John Fowles
94. WIDE SARGASSO SEAby Jean Rhys
95. UNDER THE NETby Iris Murdoch
96. SOPHIE’S CHOICEby William Styron
97. THE SHELTERING SKYby Paul Bowles
98. THE POSTMAN ALWAYS RINGS TWICEby James M. Cain
99. THE GINGER MANby J.P. Donleavy
100. THE MAGNIFICENT AMBERSONSby Booth Tarkington

1. ATLAS SHRUGGEDby Ayn Rand
2. THE FOUNTAINHEADby Ayn Rand
3. BATTLEFIELD EARTHby L. Ron Hubbard
4. THE LORD OF THE RINGSby J.R.R. Tolkien
5. TO KILL A MOCKINGBIRDby Harper Lee
6. 1984by George Orwell
7. ANTHEMby Ayn Rand
8. WE THE LIVINGby Ayn Rand
9. MISSION EARTHby L. Ron Hubbard
10. FEARby L. Ron Hubbard
11. ULYSSESby James Joyce
12. CATCH-22by Joseph Heller
13. THE GREAT GATSBYby F. Scott Fitzgerald
14. DUNEby Frank Herbert
15. THE MOON IS A HARSH MISTRESSby Robert Heinlein
16. STRANGER IN A STRANGE LANDby Robert Heinlein
17. A TOWN LIKE ALICEby Nevil Shute
18. BRAVE NEW WORLDby Aldous Huxley
19. THE CATCHER IN THE RYEby J.D. Salinger
20. ANIMAL FARMby George Orwell
21. GRAVITY’S RAINBOWby Thomas Pynchon
22. THE GRAPES OF WRATHby John Steinbeck
23. SLAUGHTERHOUSE FIVEby Kurt Vonnegut
24. GONE WITH THE WINDby Margaret Mitchell
25. LORD OF THE FLIESby William Golding
26. SHANEby Jack Schaefer
27. TRUSTEE FROM THE TOOLROOMby Nevil Shute
28. A PRAYER FOR OWEN MEANYby John Irving
29. THE STANDby Stephen King
30. THE FRENCH LIEUTENANT’S WOMANby John Fowles
31. BELOVEDby Toni Morrison
32. THE WORM OUROBOROSby E.R. Eddison
33. THE SOUND AND THE FURYby William Faulkner
34. LOLITAby Vladimir Nabokov
35. MOONHEARTby Charles de Lint
36. ABSALOM, ABSALOM!by William Faulkner
37. OF HUMAN BONDAGEby W. Somerset Maugham
38. WISE BLOODby Flannery O’Connor
39. UNDER THE VOLCANOby Malcolm Lowry
40. FIFTH BUSINESSby Robertson Davies
41. SOMEPLACE TO BE FLYINGby Charles de Lint
42. ON THE ROADby Jack Kerouac
43. HEART OF DARKNESSby Joseph Conrad
44. YARROWby Charles de Lint
45. AT THE MOUNTAINS OF MADNESSby H.P. Lovecraft
46. ONE LONELY NIGHTby Mickey Spillane
47. MEMORY AND DREAMby Charles de Lint
48. TO THE LIGHTHOUSEby Virginia Woolf
49. THE MOVIEGOERby Walker Percy
50. TRADERby Charles de Lint
51. THE HITCHHIKER’S GUIDE TO THE GALAXYby Douglas Adams
52. THE HEART IS A LONELY HUNTERby Carson McCullers
53. THE HANDMAID’S TALEby Margaret Atwood
54. BLOOD MERIDIANby Cormac McCarthy
55. A CLOCKWORK ORANGEby Anthony Burgess
56. ON THE BEACHby Nevil Shute
57. A PORTRAIT OF THE ARTIST AS A YOUNG MANby James Joyce
58. GREENMANTLEby Charles de Lint
59. ENDER’S GAMEby Orson Scott Card
60. THE LITTLE COUNTRYby Charles de Lint
61. THE RECOGNITIONSby William Gaddis
62. STARSHIP TROOPERSby Robert Heinlein
63. THE SUN ALSO RISESby Ernest Hemingway
64. THE WORLD ACCORDING TO GARPby John Irving
65. SOMETHING WICKED THIS WAY COMESby Ray Bradbury
66. THE HAUNTING OF HILL HOUSEby Shirley Jackson
67. AS I LAY DYINGby William Faulkner
68. TROPIC OF CANCERby Henry Miller
69. INVISIBLE MANby Ralph Ellison
70. THE WOOD WIFEby Terri Windling
71. THE MAGUSby John Fowles
72. THE DOOR INTO SUMMERby Robert Heinlein
73. ZEN AND THE ART OF MOTORCYCLE MAINTENANCEby Robert Pirsig
74. I, CLAUDIUSby Robert Graves
75. THE CALL OF THE WILDby Jack London
76. AT SWIM-TWO-BIRDSby Flann O’Brien
77. FARENHEIT 451by Ray Bradbury
78. ARROWSMITHby Sinclair Lewis
79. WATERSHIP DOWNby Richard Adams
80. NAKED LUNCHby William S. Burroughs
81. THE HUNT FOR RED OCTOBERby Tom Clancy
82. GUILTY PLEASURESby Laurell K. Hamilton
83. THE PUPPET MASTERSby Robert Heinlein
84. ITby Stephen King
85. V.by Thomas Pynchon
86. DOUBLE STARby Robert Heinlein
87. CITIZEN OF THE GALAXYby Robert Heinlein
88. BRIDESHEAD REVISITEDby Evelyn Waugh
89. LIGHT IN AUGUSTby William Faulkner
90. ONE FLEW OVER THE CUCKOO’S NESTby Ken Kesey
91. A FAREWELL TO ARMSby Ernest Hemingway
92. THE SHELTERING SKYby Paul Bowles
93. SOMETIMES A GREAT NOTIONby Ken Kesey
94. MY ANTONIAby Willa Cather
95. MULENGROby Charles de Lint
96. SUTTREEby Cormac McCarthy
97. MYTHAGO WOODby Robert Holdstock
98. ILLUSIONSby Richard Bach
99. THE CUNNING MANby Robertson Davies
100. THE SATANIC VERSESby Salman Rushdie