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Saturday, October 25, 2008

big city dreams.

EVEN THOUGH there's turmoil. nobody can take my dreams away! nobody can take away my home.
I like sitting in the midst of chaos with my headphones in, because I feel like I'm in the middle of a movie montage.

i feel rejuvenated for being at home, it's wonderfully relaxing and energizing to be somewhere that knows me. it holds my bits and pieces to remind me when i come home. even when i really really miss people.
i.e, tucker!it freaks me out a little when i think of going to hang out with him tonight. even though i know he'll probably never change, at least for a long time.. i won't ever change either. so who knows.. it's just so torn up all the time, i'm divided and conquered. even though i'm always okay on the inside and always know i'll pull through, i'm still yanked a million different ways. PLU, UW. Philip, Tucker. Jon. Alena, Kelsey, my floormates. even though! i'm still happy. i can live up the big city experience for all its worth while i have no other choice, revel in the fact that i'm alive and this is all a part of living, life. because everything is so dynamic, fluid, flux and always changing moment to moment. so what's down now won't be so bad in a few hours, a few days, a few months, completely forgotten about in a few years.
and there are flecks of gold in the midst of all the storms! i'm gonna be juno for halloween, and i have friends that will always stand by me and never change. even when i go down, i'm up. even when all is lost, there is inspiration to be found.

we will show the world we're better than this mess...
because i fly, no, i will never deny
what's in my heart what's in my life
cause these mean thoughts and cheap shots
they will not weaken me

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